2010 August 7th.

I almost missed my train to Bangalore last evening. Just a minute late and I would've been stranded on the station with my luggage. Thank God I wasn't carrying Nazia with me. She would have really slowed me down with her huge curvy junk xD

I somehow managed to get into the last bogey of the train, the General compartment. An hour later, the train stopped at some station and I got down and walked my way to my bogey and then to my seat. The trains around here are not so well-maintained. I felt disgusted when I entered the train. People were eating gutkha and what not shit making the environment around me more hostile. I felt like puking when I saw the toilets.

Haven't slept well in the past few days. The more I tried to sleep, the less tired I felt and I was wide awake. I have become insomniac. At night, I wanted time to pass away quickly but each time I looked at the clock, the time slowed down. Suddenly, I had some extra hours in my life. The hours when everybody were asleep, I was awake and probably breathing nicotine. I bought a few novels to utilize this time. I read a few and re-read some of my favorite ones. I related everything, from movies to songs and novels, to our relationship. Being a sad soul, I had nothing better to do anyway. I have always observed that a sad situation in life always brings out the artist in you. Perhaps the only good thing about love?

The thoughts revolved around me. I tried everything, from songs to sleeping pills, but in vain. Every night, a 'rerun' flashes in my mind. It was similar to a free fall from a plane with a faulty parachute attached to your back. You try to open the parachute but it doesn't. You see the Earth accelerating towards you but you can't help it. You crash down with a tremendous velocity. You hear the bones cracking, puncturing the surrounding flesh. The pain of suddenly being stopped by Earth from a huge fall, slowly makes its presence felt.  You crash land and jump back to the reality, in the present and the thoughts strike back.

I was lying on my seat in the train. It was 1 am. I had lots of time to think, alone. I tried to find reasons, but in vain. Why? I never could find out the answer.

To think about the worst, it feels like a nail puncturing slowly right through your heart, going deeper and deeper but never coming out the other end. You feel the pain deep inside as the nail slowly moves, an inch by the hour, tearing the tissues, bleeding the heart, and me, waiting for the thoughts and pain to vanish.
I look at the picture and I hit delete. It awaits my confirmation. I can't move my thumb to click 'Yes'. I stare for few more seconds and I press, the key.

2010 June 25th

Been waiting for the past 2 hours. I had to. My originals were with the HR. An hour ago I gave back my appointment letter. I quit the job. And I had plenty of reasons to do that. An hour later, I had a meeting with the MD. She explained the history of the company, how it was started and what all struggle they underwent to develop it to this point. I was firm, I wasn't ready to work for 2 years straight with such low salary. And the main point that pissed me off was that it was never mentioned before, until last evening, that there was a bond of 2 lacs which prevented me from leaving the company for 2 years.
I interrupted the MD and directly came to the point whether or not she was ready to revert back to the old terms and conditions and she started explaining how the company was expending money on our training and stuff for another 15 mins. After she was done, I asked her again and she looked surprised. She told that she can't change the bond and I said fine and quit the job and took all my documents and parted goodbyes with my project leader, our trainer and my colleagues and within 10 minutes I was out of the company and back to being jobless, again.

2010 June 21st

My first day at job and I'm already late, blame it on the irregular BMTC buses. I wasted an hour waiting for the bus to Banaswadi at Majestic, which never came. I then had to board the bus to Shivajinagar and then board the bus to Banaswadi. arrived at my office at 10 half, an hour late. Signed the register and then off to my floor.
The first day was only introduction about the company, it's products and the employees working there. We were 4, new trainees, joining on the same day. No work today, nothing interesting to jot down.

2010 June 20th

Last night we partied hard. To be honest, we party every weekend but this time it was harder. We were a wreck in the morning. It was 1 pm and everybody was still in bed (not a new thing for me though considering that I wake up everyday at 1 pm). After brunch, we decided to go to K. R. Market. Its a busy market area well known for theives and robbed original shoes/sandals and what not shit. So we were just walking on the sideway cracking jokes on each other acting like retards, pushing each other, oggling at girls and LOLing all the way when Kiran asked us, how did these guys get their hands on all those shoes? I said, maybe they robbed the shoes from temples, mosques, etc. Rahul nodded in agreement. Kiran disagreed and said "Maybe these thieves break into the houses of people who wear such shoes and rob them when they're sleeping". What more was needed, we burst into laughter, laughing like maniacs xD Rest of the trip was filled with jokes on Kiran.